Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
