never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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