So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
birth control should be required to get into college
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
