I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
