this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
so much tequila, so little girl.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
