I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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