just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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