i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
