I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize