He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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