dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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