I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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