You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
