you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
