Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Randomize
