I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
