We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
