i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
