im gay
i know
yea but for you.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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