looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
