I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
