My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
