I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
