what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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