I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
