He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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