Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
