just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
