let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
