I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
