the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
