we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
