i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
