Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
