I just made out with a guy for $7.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
