just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
