I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
