If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
