that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
