I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
