he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
