She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
