Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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