When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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