I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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