You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
