Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
