If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
You are the jesus of drinking
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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