i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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