you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
