pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
how does that bad decision feel?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
