Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
