i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize