This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
