im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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