they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
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