Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
