I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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