Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
