Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Im at strip club and am horny
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize