just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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