I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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