this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize