For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
