my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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