is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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