You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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