I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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