After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
