My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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