Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
