This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
