Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
